09

She is nothing and no one, among nothing.

She has face, a smile, and a voice.

She has thoughts. She has secrets. She dreams.

She wishes.

She sees, and wishes not to. She relishes in sight however.

She dwells on touch.

She takes it as solace. She is lost.

She is lost.

She is lost.

She is lost.

She wishes for no end. But understands not why there is a beginning. Why she is built to survive.

She understands not why she can feel touch, why her body freezes in silence, her instincts rise in moments of fear.

She is bitter.

She has no faith in earth, she accepts its shadow.

The image of a mother mourning over the death of her child, lost in a tsunami, haunts her.

She wishes to never in life feel that pain. She fails to understand how love can exist, how people can faun over such joyous emotions when such moments of devastation occur each second. That every day, more people are unhappy than happy, that statistically, humans are more likely to kill themselves, than someone else.

She believes that, when she heard it, she believed it, without question.

She sees no point. At one time, having no point was enough, to do something simply because she could, simply because she wanted to, was enough.

She knows she will reach that moment again.

She knows she will read this again, and scoff. She will scrunch up her face in disgust and in embarrassment.

But she knows she will return here.

She strives to be something, to create herself.

She thought she knew who she was. She did not.

She is restrained.

She has had a good life. She has in helplessness watched others suffer.

She is bitter. She is very bitter.

She expects nothing from the world; she feels neither owes the other something. They merely co-exist.

She plans to run. She doesn’t know what she’s running from.

She attempts to understand her motives, and others, for everything.

She is confused about her own.

She dwells on everything.

She does not know what she wants; only what she doesn’t want.

She is tired.

She is emotionless.

She is lost, and she is bitter.

She is scared.

She is tired. She is very tired.

She is scared of what will become of her, who she will become, not what will happen to her.

She does things because she is supposed to, because she believes it is what she wants.

As she grows older, she realizes, this is wrong.

She doesn’t know who she is anymore.

But as she grows, she realizes who she truly is, better with each day.